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After months of prowling Internet chat rooms, posing as the mother of two young daughters, Detective Michele Deery thought she had a live one: “parafling,” a married, middle-aged man who claimed he wanted to have sex with her kids.

But was he just playing a twisted game of seduction?

As a fantasy, her come-on seemed overbaked—not one daughter, but two!

It is doubtful that such a woman exists anywhere, and yet men fell for it. The bulletin board over her desk displays mug shots of her catches, very ordinary-looking men, facing the camera wide-eyed with shock, staring at the fresh ruin of their lives. One of the stunned faces in that array belongs to a man I will call “J,” who would spend a year in prison after taking Deery’s bait.

That being said, I know it’s important for people to speak their truth and that part of that truth is not just communicating your lack of interest but that you find such talk so early on offensive. Don’t let what everyone else is doing change or influence your personal boundaries or limits.

What if you are still interested in talking but just not about sex? You might think that if you say no to every man who mentions sex in the first conversation, you won’t meet anyone.

In one of the many rooms labeled “fetish,” she logged on with the suggestive screen name “heatherscutiepies.” At this time of day the weirdos were coming home from work, bellying up to their home computers.American courts have long recognized the right of police to invent ruses. Courts and lawmakers become less and less scrupulous about basic fairness.The more frightening and reprehensible the threat, the more license and latitude are given to the police.The only way you’ll see him or find him is if you shut the rest of the noise down.That guy…one closer to your values, well, he takes his time, too. He might think you expect a shirtless pic right at the beginning!

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